Let's Eat A Little Crow...(Why I have a black eye)

There are several things that will always make people want to ask, "What happened?"  You show up at work with purple hair.  You are missing one eyebrow.  You are wearing a cast.  And, let's not forget, you show up at church with a black eye.  You want a really great story about how you thwarted a burglar in your home while saving both your family and your worldly possessions.  Or how about, you were rescuing orphans when the shack in which they were hiding disintegrated trapping you inside.  But, alas, none of that happened to me.  In fact, my story is probably one of the most absurd you have  heard today.  I was hit by a crow.  Yes, you heard that correctly.  A crow.  I know, the next thing you are dying to ask is "how".  So this is how my tale begins.  My first year of marriage, I was just learning how to cohabitate with another human being.  Late one night after being sick and being under the influence of cold medication, my husband decided to go to bed.  I wanted to talk about my early marriage mushy feelings.  Declare our undying love and all of that other stuff that makes women who've been married for years laugh hysterically.  My husband did not want to cooperate, so I decided to bring some jockularity (one of my son's vocabulary words this week) into the situation.  I approached on sneaky feet and spooked him from behind.  He proceeded to fall and catch himself on the headboard of our bed.  The only thing stopping his successful catch was my nose.  With a crack and scream, my nose was thoroughly swollen to twice it's size.  We went to the E.R. where I proceeded to beg him to stay awake for me.  Picture him in a white t-shirt and me holding a bag of ice to my nose as we enter the hospital.  It looked like an episode of Cops.  With much explanation, the staff realized the accident was just that.  During my waiting time, I begged God to please heal my broken nose because we had church the next day.  I didn't want to explain the gauze-packed nose and bruising to them.  I bargained and promised not to make myself a total menace to society again.  After x-rays, the doctor was amazed.  No broken nose.  By the next day, the bruising was gone.  You couldn't even tell I had gone through trauma.  This leads me to the current black eye.  A few days ago, while in Fred's pharmacy, I noticed a little motion-activated crow.  Every time you passed it, it cawed.  I thought this would be a funny prank to pull on my children, being the kind and considerate mother that I am.  There was that soft voice that told me not to buy it, but I ignored that voice.  I proceeded to hang it by the front door and watch with glee after each of my family members looked for the crow hiding in a tree in our front yard.  My daughter thought that it would be great to hide it in my oldest son's room.  He was confused and mildly amused by my bird prank.  His father, being the loving husband that he is, squealed on me louder than a baby pig in a greased pig contest.  My son then tracked me down to my room to surprise me with my own prank.  As I lay in my bed, he chunked the bird beside my head.  Unfortunately, it was motion-activated.  It let off a loud, "Caw".  What do you do when you hear a bird coming toward you?  You turn to see where it is.  Well, I couldn't see where it was because it had hit me squarely in the eye.  As my son profusely apologized for hitting me, I tried to make him feel better laughing it off.  I might have been crying a little bit and pretending it was laughing.  He needn't know.  So a couple of hours later, a full-blown black eye was there.  And guess what the next day was?  If you guessed Sunday, you were right.  Does this ring some bells from my first mishap before a Sunday service?  It made me think about how quickly we bargain with God when times get hard or difficult.  God, if you just do this, then...Whether it is right or wrong, I've realized something over the years.  My pride is nothing compared to obedience.  If pleasing God means I look like an idiot sometimes or have to do something out of my comfort zone, then so be it.  I don't need to bargain with God because no matter what I face, He is with me.  Gaining the world is nothing compared to having the love of Jesus.  So no bargain was made.  I faced the consequence of my foolish prank and went to church- black eye and all.  And yes, high-heeled warriors, I had to eat a little crow and apologize to my children for pranking them.  So I've learned not to let pride dictate my obedience to God and to duck when crows come flying at me.  Have a great week high-heeled warriors!