In Sickness And In Health...What Real Love is.

We have survived one of the most high-pressured holidays that exist- Valentine's Day.  In case you don't know what I mean, think about the pressure your significant other is under when every one of your co-workers get flowers, chocolates, stuffed toys, and your desk sits pathetically empty with a few pens and inspirational plaque to comfort you.  Now that significant other must show up big, or they have proven that you are nothing in the great scheme of their existence.  This whole idea is so wrong, but it is what we've formed into the concept of love.  I blame all of the Disney movies and romance novels that convince us that the perfect man will show up in a tux, burst into spontaneous song about the sparkle of your eyes, and lead you through rose petals to the castle he has specially designed for you.  In my fantasy, maid service, chef, and chauffeur would be included.  This, however, is not what love really is.  I can best explain it by telling the story of meeting my husband.  In the romance novels, our eyes would have met across a crowded room.  We would float toward each other and the surroundings turn to haze, and music would spontaneously burst forth.  Unfortunately, that did not happen.  Our eyes did meet across a crowded room.  So good so far, but let's back up.  A few days before meeting Kyle, I told my mother that I was not interested in any relationships.  I had experienced a bad break-up and was content with being single.  I told my mother God would have to drop the guy in my lap.  Fast forward a few days to the college conference where I was sitting on the floor waiting for a Bible study to begin.  This big guy in berkinstocks with white socks bounds into the room late and sits where the only open place to sit was- next to me.  He slips and lands partially in my lap.  A couple of days later, as I was praying for some other students, I looked across the room and my eyes met Kyle's. (Side note: I had prayed that God would let me know the one I'd marry when I met him.)  When our eyes met, I felt a certainty that he was the one I would marry.  I told God, "You've got to be kidding."  This guy was goofy and drew attention to himself all the time.  I liked to blend.  We exchanged addresses, and I put him firmly in the friend zone.  We started doing phone calls and writing letters (pre-email folks!), and I began to treasure that friendship.  I watched him give the clothes off his back or money out of his wallet to help others.  I learned to value character over our world's idea of devotion.  I realized I was creating who I should love from the wrong book.  Instead of a romance novel, I should have looked at the Bible.  I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.    I discovered what real love was.  After almost twenty years, I deeply love my husband.  For Valentine's Day, he gave me roses and a card that said "Close to you, next to you, here with you"  inside he wrote, "sick with you."  We were both sick, and romance was far from our minds.  So we had our cold medicine, shared tissue, and enjoyed a Valentine's Day, not built on commercialism, but on commitment.  In sickness and in health.  It's easy to love when everything is going well.  True love stands through ups and downs, no matter what.  Remember, we have the greatest example to follow.  Jesus stands through our ups and downs- no matter what.  Have a great week high-heeled warriors!