Do I Make A Difference?

This thought has probably gone through everyone's mind at some point in their lives.  As a worship leader in my church, the thought has come when I couldn't get people to worship.  Why am I doing this?  One Sunday, I tried to get the music to sound right.  One would say, "I don't like these old songs."  Another would say, "I don't like these new songs."  At this point of frustration, God reminded me of what real worship was.  Before the fall (the apple moment), Adam's high point of the day was walking in the cool of the day talking with God.  His worship was spending time in God's presence talking and listening to God and being completely vulnerable.  But after the fall, the first thing Adam and Eve did was hide from God.  They questioned God's forgiveness and goodness.  They needed the covering of clothes because they no longer could be vulnerable in God's presence.  It was too revealing.  Suddenly, fear took the place of worship.  As I was sitting on the piano bench asking God, "Am I making a difference," He reminded me of this.  We are changed by Christ's death on the cross.  We have had sin removed, and now we have the chance to return to real worship with God.  It is the moment that we return to being vulnerable in God's presence trusting Him to take care of us completely.  When we refuse to worship Him, we are like Adam and Eve hiding from God.  "If I praise Him, He may call me out on something or ask me to change.  If I sit on this pew very still keeping my arms crossed and my heart closed until the song is over, I won't have to be vulnerable to God.  Things can stay the same."  But do we want things to stay the same?  Don't we want to be free of pain, depression, and hurt?  Don't we want to feel loved and secure?  In 1 Samuel 16 of the Old Testament, David played his harp for King Saul.  As he played, the darkness that was tormenting King Saul would disappear.  This happened when David worshiped God.  So this morning of frustration, I determined that I would worship God with everything within me.  This was not so I could be complemented or sound great, but because even if no one else wanted to feel the amazing love of God's presence, I did.  Pity parties disappear when we enter God's presence.  And mine hit the road!  As I write this blog, I am celebrating over a year of sharing my stories.  Sometimes a lot of people read.  Other times, very few people read.  At this point, I can get caught up in the numbers of views or followers.  Why am I doing this?  Am I even making a difference to those who read?  But I worship, not for others, but to be in God's presence.  And in the same way, I write because I feel God wants to encourage you not to give up.  He is faithful!  Even if we can't see the results, it doesn't mean God isn't working.  Stay faithful because He will always stay faithful to you!

 Have a great week high-heeled warriors!  

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