Menopause, Manopause, Teenopause?

I would like to talk about a subject very near and dear to me in this blog.  Raging hormones.  If any of you have ever experienced a perpetual burning from the inside out, a walking zombie-like state due to lack of sleep, and an observation that you are totally over-dramatizing situations in your life, then you too may be perimenopausal.  This was a new word that my doctor taught me on my last visit.  I knew that I was getting older.  My children are all almost fully grown, but it never really occurred to me how fast time flies until I heard that dreadful word.  I am a very cold-natured person.  I carry a grandma sweater with me everywhere I go. So when I tell you that I thought I would internally combust from some unknown heat source inside of me, I knew something was going on.  They really frown on you stripping down to your underwear at your job, so I had to do the next best thing and stick cold soda cans on my neck.  Then came the emotional roller coaster.  Listening to my husband eating became a test of my patience.  Could he eat a little quieter?!!  If I saw one single eye roll from my children, they knew to run very fast and very far away from me.  At one point I told my husband through teary eyes that I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn't seem to stop.  Now in all fairness, men go through their own form of menopause.  I call it manopause.  This is where they start stomping around the house complaining about lights left on, someone eating their hidden stashes of food, and dreaming of that motorcycle they always wanted but never seemed to buy.  Teenagers go through their own version of hormonal craze, too.  I call this teenopause.  This is where they follow you to your room, sigh, drape themselves across your bed complaining about how tough life is doing homework, working two hours at work, and dealing with having nothing to do at home all while you are trying to go to sleep so you can get up at 6 in the morning for your very long 8 hour job.  Or how about the spontaneous bursting into tears when you ask them how their day was. The loving someone one minute, not being able to stand to look at that same person another minute, then picking out names for their children ten minutes later.  So I've discovered, we all suffer from some kind of "opause."  The danger is when the "opauses" combine together into one room.  This is where you really need someone who has exited the opauses to assist.  Picture this.  Me with perimenopausal symptoms taking my daughters with what I call teenopause out shopping for clothes.  There are things that must not happen.  We cannot under any circumstances skip a meal.  Hormone drops combined with insulin drops is asking for trouble.  So I made sure to eat two cookies and a couple of bites of popcorn before undertaking this adventure.  Next, you should be well-rested.  I was not because I DO NOT SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT!!  So in my sleep-deprived and hungry state, I loaded up the car and drove my daughters to the metropolis of Mtn. Home for shopping.  We are in trouble when I immediately have to say that we have to hurry since all the stores close at 8pm.  Next, I find out that one of my daughters only has $40 and is wanting to shop at the most expensive store in town.  After my other daughter and I gang up on her and convince her that $40 will buy her one shirt, she is convinced that we should visit a discount store in our limited amount of shopping time.  I walk around one store while one of my daughter's sighs and moans about nothing cute fitting her.  I pointed out that she was looking in the wrong size.  Wrong answer!  Teenopause strikes with a "there are only old lady clothes in my size!!!!"  When I observe that some of the clothes look identical to the ones in my closet, perimenopause parries with a "there are perfectly nice clothes in your size."  To which teenopause strikes back with "if I want to dress like a substitute teacher!"  Whattttt!!  Okay, I am a teacher, but that was a little harsh.  Teenopause ups the anti with tears filling her eyes.  Now teenopause two joins the battle as she says she isn't even looking in this store when she may find something in another store.  Perimenopausal me points out "Why are we even here if neither of you are even looking for clothes!"  "Fine" is the chorus, as we stomp out of store number one.  We make it to store number two and as I look for teenopause one,  I notice she isn't even looking in the clothing section.  She is shopping for shoes.  When I remind her we are looking for clothes, she says that she needs shoes more.  I return with a "you just bought three pairs of shoes, but it's your money" to which tears come back as she responds that they have no cool shoes in her size.  She leaves me and teenopause number two to shop while she wanders away to a shoe store several stores down.   Teenopause two finds three dresses at which I have to remind her she only has $40, and I can't buy her any extra unless she would prefer we go Amish and live without electricity.  After several hours of "opause" moments, we eat and return home to which I respond to my  husband of my struggles.  He responds in manopause style by nodding and grunting while perusing his social media.  Thus begins the next chapter in the saga of "The 'Opauses."  All of this might sound funny, but the struggle is real.  I had to crash and get some pet therapy with my dog to feel better.  So as all of my family go through hormonal changes, I am having to learn a very important lesson.  Love needs to be unconditional.  I am going to do and say things that will make my family angry and vice versa.  What I will not do is throw away relationships because of emotional moments.  Relationships were never meant to be built on emotions.  No one person can make me happy.  Only God can completely fulfill me, so when I look to my husband or my children to make me happy or fulfill me, they are guaranteed to let me down.  That's a lot of pressure to put on someone who was not designed to carry it.  What I do want is contentment that comes from God.  Contentment says that even if things aren't going as I would like, I can make it through the situation and find the good in the moment.  My children may roll their eyes, but they are a part of my life.  For that I am blessed.  My husband may become distracted, but he is in that room with me, and that is a blessing.  When I focus on the blessings and let God be the One who gives me peace, then my relationships will survive- hormones and all.

Have a great week high-heeled warriors!