My work office has a history of...how can I put this gently, not the best cleaning crew?
One custodian from years ago would flush the toilet and call it good. Another would leave the paper towel dispenser empty so much that we had to put signs in giant print saying, PLEASE GIVE US PAPER TOWELS."
All this to say, our expectations were low when we got the latest custodian. However, he proved us wrong in our low expectations. He walked from room to room introducing himself and learning each of our names. Every day, I was greeted with, "Hello, Eyevette." I always grin at the mispronunciation. My name is hard to figure out sometimes. He then emptied all the trash cans and even picked up tiny specks of paper off the floor.
He spent 15 minutes cleaning a therapy table by my desk. I didn't have the heart to tell him the half a can of disinfectant was making it a little hard to breathe, but I think my coughing gave it away. I noticed every time he emptied the trash can, he glanced at the contents
. I started questioning if he might be judging my trash. I felt like saying, "Yes, that's an empty bag of cheetos and a snickers wrapper! It's been a hard day!" I'm sure he wasn't thinking any of that, but it felt like that. I almost wanted to hide my junk food trash in a coworker's trashcan. The biggest problem we faced was that he emptied out trash at 2pm; however, we didn't finish work until 4pm. That meant I still wanted to snack and drink something which created more trash.
After he emptied my trash, I threw my newly emptied good wrapper in the trash, thinking he had left for the day. He had not. He walked in, glanced in my trash and looked at me with disappointed eyes, much like I look when my kids eat the last ice cream bar that I hid behind the broccoli. He hand-plucked the wrapper from my trash and walked away with slumped shoulders. After that, I couldn't disappoint him again.
So I began to hide my trash behind my desk until he said, "Have a good day and left the building.
" How had we moved from begging for paper towels to hiding trash like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter? This brings me to my spiritual point.
We view our spiritual walk like I do with our fastedious custodian. We see our brothers and sisters as watching in disappointment as we fill our proverbial cans with life. "They must be judging me for this, or maybe if I hide my struggles, they won't think less of me. " However, in doing so, we become trapped in our shame and fear of our weaknesses being exposed. This gives the enemy fuel to mentally torment us and keeps us from getting help.
What would happen if we trust God with our weaknesses? What if we opened up to trusted Christians as accountability and mentors? When we've become transparent, we've removed the power of shame from the enemy.
This is by no means saying that we are saying to continue to sin. As we grow in our faith, our sins when we first started our walk with Christ should not be the same as years later.
If our faith is genuine, we strive to become more like Jesus, laying down those things that keep us from growing. We give God all and show God's love as Christ directed us.
I encourage you to give God all that fills your life. No more hiding trash. Instead freely give it to God, knowing He takes our sin with His loving hands and redeems us.
Have a great week high-heeled warriors!
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