Devotions of a High Heeled Warrior

In the year of murder hornets and cannibal ants, our world holds its breath waiting for the next pestilence to be unleashed.  What will it be?  Bomber beetles that explode when in contact with the sun?  Or maybe, multiplying mosquitoes that double in population daily?  Whatever is thrown at us, my husband and I have a simple household rule.  He kills the spiders and roaches, and I kill all flying, stinging bugs.  When I come into contact with a roach, I become a squealing, prissy girl.  Especially when they fly into my hair.  It has happened.  It wasn't pretty.  I think it's the unpredictability that scares me.  It's the same with spiders.  I never know when I will encounter one that can jump at me randomly.  But mostly it's because I can remember being bitten by a brown recluse spider in Jr. High.  The bite should have rotted, but after having my church pray for me, it healed.  This still hasn't stopped me fr...

As a teacher, I've heard this quote a million times.  Just in case you've never heard it, it goes something like this: If you give a man a fish, he'll have fish for a day.  If you teach a man to fish, he'll have fish for a lifetime.   First of all, if my food source depended on me fishing, I would starve.   My family doesn't even ask me to go fishing with them anymore because they know I'll ruin the experience.  My husband took me fishing one time on a river boat.  I was excited in the beginning, but my excitement waned when I was told that I needed to be quiet.  The fish are under the water, and I'm on top of the water.  It shouldn't have mattered.  After twenty minutes of quiet, I was bored so I wanted to bond. My husband wanted to fish.  That day, we did neither.  When it came time to bait the hook, I was out.  An experience that involves an animal excreting its bowels while it is skewered is not an experience for me.  ...

Have you ever gotten into someone else's car by accident?  If you're honest with yourself, we've all done it.  I once walked out of Walgreens and opened the door to climb into my silver car.  Once the door was open, I noticed that something didn't look right.  Where was my stuff?  Also, where was my daughter waiting in the car.  That's when I noticed her watching me from my silver car parked right next to the one I opened due to lack of awareness.  I remember sitting outside of McDonalds when a total stranger opened my passenger door and started to climb into my car.   I had several thoughts that started to fly through my head.  I immediately go to worst case scenario that I'm about to be carjacked, so I think I should yell out "help!"  Or I could open the door and run for it.  Or I could challenge the man and say, "Excuse me!  Can your please get out of my car."  I didn't need to do any of those things.  He looked...

Everyone has fears!  I've noticed that as I get older, my fear list grows.  When I was sixteen, I couldn't swim.  I still attempted to learn to water ski in a very deep lake.  I was scared of heights, but I climbed a lot of tall things.  Now, I get nauseous trying to swing.  As we drive over bridges, I hold my breath as I look at the water.  As we get older, our experiences tinge our views of the world.  For example, one person who is fearless when it comes to horseback riding may become terrified of horses after falling off of one.  My friends and family think it's hilarious when I tell them about one fear I have.   When I was young, a woman in our town was decapitated by a long log going through her windshield from a log truck she was following.  Now, when I see a log truck, I want to move into the next lane immediately.  My husband thought it was completely irrational until he spoke with my father.  When jokingly ask...

Anyone who knows me knows that I love doing vintage photos! So as my 23rd anniversary rolled around, my first thought was directed toward a creative way to capture our lives together.  We've done caricatures and vintage photos for years, so I wanted something a little different.  When I came across an artist who imposes your face on famous works of art, I was sold.  Most might think, "Why would you give your husband such a weird gift for your anniversary?"  Believe it or not, but the reason I chose this gift was because I know my husband.  When God brought us both together, He brought together two very goofy people who love to express ourselves in silly ways. Because I have listened and communicated with my husband for so many years, I know what he likes.   I know that if I cook him anything with mushrooms, a lot of cheese, and onions,  he will love it. I know that if a restored hot rod car drives past us, he will notice it.  I know that he loves...